Rosenbush Cafe
Enlighten Your Parallel Universe

Food Rains Down in 3-D Animated Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs

 Posted by Henry Rosenbush on July 3rd, 2009

A host of upcoming animated 3-D movie previews accompanied the film Up and along with the Jerry Bruckheimer action-comedy G-Force is Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs which looks to be the most delicious of the lot.

This Sony Pictures Animation 3-D adaptation of the children’s book by Ron Barrett (illustrator) and Judi Barrett (author) stars Bill Hadler as an inventor whose inventions, much like Jimmy Neutron, do not always work as planned, until one particular device causes all manner of food to rain down from the sky. Co-starring the voices of Anna Faris, James Caan, Mr. T, Tracy Morgan and Bruce Campbell. Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, who co-wrote the screenplay whose last film was the raunchy R-Rated Extreme Movie, quite a change of pace for this family-oriented film, slotted for an August 18th release.

3-D technology returned last year with the horror remake My Bloody Valentine and is expected to revitalize that genre with The Final Destination, also an August release, but animated films are ideal for the deep focus High Definition photography recently seen in Up and the Ice Age sequel.

We’ll be coming back at ya with reviews and a look back at past experiments in 3-D. Anyone remember Parasite with a young Demi Moore?! It was bad. House of Wax, from 1953, was much better, especially with the paddle ball and popcorn!

Kat Fud: Only Humans Think Misspelling Intentionally is Funny…It Isn’t

 Posted by Henry Rosenbush on July 2nd, 2009
ShyGirl knows the difference between a Mouse and Mice

ShyGirl knows the difference between a Mouse and Mice

What is it about the cats that endears some and infuriates others? I posed this question to several charter members of the Milo Institute for Feline Well-Being and found the answers uniquely different.

ShyGirl was straightforward: “Some humans cannot accept the fact that cats, and most animals on this planet, are intelligent. Just because we don’t drive expensive SUVs or shop at supermarkets doesn’t mean we are unaware of automobiles or grocery stores. If the law allowed, we’d vote and the entire planet would be in better shape. A hundred a sixty thousand cats at Kim’s bedside would put an end to North Korea’s nuclear threats faster than you can say ‘Meow Mix taste like crap.’”

As for computer humor, “We know the difference in a plastic mouse and juicy living mice. Only someone with photo-altering software, a huge email contact list and too damned much free time to make pics of cats confused by technology find it funny to infer cats do not know the difference. Humans, sometimes they make me wish they were extinct, but hey it won’t be much longer!”

Sister Kitsya agreed: “Humans often think that no other species is capable of rational thought. We can see in the dark and stalk and capture prey with pinpoint accuracy and without guns or cross-bows. Animals have one enemy and that is man. Although most of us are predators our job is to keep nature in balance something the human race seems intent on disrupting natural selection. The weak will not survive so long as the strong exist.”

Another sista, the rambuncious Katja is always irritated with humans who think intentionally misspelling is funny, like “Kat Fud” for “Cat Food” or “Kat Toyz.” She considers it demeaning. “It is supposed to be funny, but it isn’t, except to those humans who find humor in shopping at Target or laugh aloud at the animated lizard on Geico Insurance commercials. Sigh.”

Cats do not judge in the same manner as people and it is unsurprising that when humans want a pat on the back for a “job well done” or a plaudit for something inane that felines will stare through them before returning to their grooming. We could all learn from the animal kingdom: “We are not special we are just us.”

Cats do not consider themselves special, they are just another one of the creatures of earth and one can sense they would do a far better job of running the government, industries and would probably curtail, if not do away with, organized religion in favor of worshiping the moment.

Pink,Too: “Once you realize life only exists in the now and get to living everything becomes clearly crystal. Don’t Fear the Reaper; enjoy your life and yes we’ve heard of Blue Oyster Cult, too. Meow, mew, hiss.”

Rabbit, Rabbit!: July Brings Musical Based on 1929 Stock Market Crash

 Posted by Henry Rosenbush on July 1st, 2009
Auditions Closed as Titanic Sinks Again

Auditions Closed as Titanic Sinks Again

June was a month that offered every conceivable emotional leitmotif imaginable. The long battle to save the business started the month with the construction of my very own private sewer line and ended with the continuous realization I have tremendous disdain for most attorneys, especially when they cost me thousands of dollars. There were moments of high drama in real estate with a disgruntled tenant threatening me so much I annulled their lease because if they are unhappy here there is no reason for everyone else to suffer.

I finally restored air conditioning to the house after a year without it during a horrific June heatwave and finished the first phase of carpet removal by dispatching the 45 year old satanic red carpet to Gahenna.

The final days concluded with a much needed soulful visit with Natalia for the first time since my Near Earth Orbit automobile accident in Georgia, May 26th and a ride to Greenville and back streets of Anderson in the new car (a 2006 Grand Prix courtesy of Geico and Barkely Pontiac GMC) scored by Edgar Froese’s, founder of Tangerine Dream, tune Talking to Maddox.

July starts with the rental season in full swing as I lease my final two apartments and the replacement of stairs was postponed until next causing me additional migraines. The University of Alabama continues to disgrace institutions of higher learning with their mixture of big budget Draconian menace and poor land management skills next door to the Cafe.

There will be a few movies for El Cine to review this month, including The Ugly Truth and Orphan and The Obsessive Collector completes his Harry Nilsson retrospective, started in May, from the ashes of June’s smoldering temperatures and a look back at George Carlin’s best bits from my long playing collection. The Milo Institute for Feline Well-Being has kept the cats busy with new projects, including their classes in bullshit detection and humorous stories of how they would deal with the nuclear threats from North Korea and Iran.

Remember when musicals were: The Music Man, West Side Story, South Pacific and Oklahoma? Then something went wacky and Little Shop of Horrors was new source material. The Phantom of the Opera wasn’t so bad, but who really needs Broadway to take us aboard Titanic or revise Spiderman? In one of those late night WTF? moments it became clear that anything can become a musical If Shrek, Troma’s The Toxic Avenger or Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 can find an audience, here are a few of my limited runs for the musically impaired:

Jumping Through Windows, based on the 1929 Stock Crash. A group of desperate brokers find peace of mind on the sidewalks of Wall Street. Includes the hit songs, “Splat” and “Ticker Tape Treasures.”

Ephemerol, based on David Cronenberg’s 1981 film, Scanners, wherein a group of telekinetic misfits employ mind controlling techniques to dupe investors in a art fraud scheme. Songs include: “My Art Keeps Me Sane,” “I’m Going to Suck Your Brain Dry” and the signature medley of “Exploding Head,” “Ripe Program” and “ConSec My Dreams.”

Trannie-Formers: Revenge of the Crossdressers Based on the Hasbro action figures and writings of
Harvey Fierstein as a group of interstellar aliens come to earth in search of their drag queen sisters who possess the secret of homosexual longevity. Dancing transformations, songs about make up and a chorus line made up of aging poof robots add to the thrill of growing old and gay gracefully with shiny, tight metallic wardrobes.

One Cool Unfurnished Apartment Left: Available July 20th

 Posted by Henry Rosenbush on June 30th, 2009
Livingroom has ceiling fan

Livingroom has ceiling fan

Partial view of bedroom with refrigerator and kitchenette

Partial view of bedroom with refrigerator and kitchenette

The Henry Apartments, LLC at 300 Thomas Street are ideal for serious students looking for affordable housing and a quiet studying environment just off campus at The University of Alabama. We are located yards off Campus Drive, with a clear view of Bryant-Denny Stadium, 1 block off The Strip on University Blvd and 1 mile from downtown Tuscaloosa. Only a few blocks from the Warrior River with jogging and walking trails and 3 miles from malls, grocery stores and restaurants on McFarland Blvd.

With limited and expensive parking on campus, The Henry Apartments, LLC are close enough to walk to mid campus in 12 minutes. Year leases. Security Deposit: $300.00, rent: $350.00. Year Lease Only. We provide Secured Wireless Internet and Water and Sewer and our apartments are all electric with central air/heat and 30-gallon water heaters.

The apartment is similar to the one pictured.

We are accessible off Campus Drive at Riverside Drive to Thomas Street or off University Blvd at Grace Street (between Hound’s Tooth Bar and The Locker Room) the last apartments on the right. Henry B. Rosenbush: hbrosenbush@msn.com or 205.799.1924.